When It Ends It Ends

I knew this would come, but all this time I pretend I don’t notice it. Everything will come to an end, eventually. And my current circumstances is no exception.  

Right now, I have two voices in my head. One who wants me to leave everything and start anew and the other one who wants me to stay. Tonight, I have discovered that once I get out from this house, everything will change. Everything that surrounds me now. I won’t be able to feel this kind of feeling anymore,  to see all of my fish whom I consider as my family, or to feel the warmth of the beach's sands anymore. And I only have a few months left until it happens.

For this time, I don’t think I’d be ready to move and leave things behind because when it ends, it ends.

When I leave, I don’t plan to go back. It’s not that I will go for good but I just don’t know when exactly I will comeback. All I know is when I comeback someday, it won’t be the same anymore. It won’t be the same house I left before, it won’t be the same faces I said goodbye before.

This is the cliché reason why I refuse to do something real now. I just want to stay and be with them as long as I can,  because I know, now is the only time I have with them. I’m crying while making this post.